Interpersonal Communication A Mindful Approach to Relationships Family & Marriage Relationships

Brad rom ay Chapter 11 Family Marriage Relationships Families are one of the essential relationships that all of us have in our lifetimes . Admittedly , there are a Wide range of family types adopted families , foster families , nuclear families , and the families we make . According to the latest research from the US Census Bureau , there are a wide range of different types of households in the United States today Family households ( Million ) Married couple households ( Million ) Married couple households with own children ( Million ) Married couple households without own children ( Million ) Male householder , with own children ( Million ) Male householder , Without own children ( Million ) Female householder , with ( children ( Million ) Female householder , With ( ut ( children ( Million ) 361

This chapter is going to explore the different types of family relationships and then end by looking at marriage . 111 Relationships . Differentiate among various definitions of the word family . Describe the term family communication patterns and the two basic types of family communication patterns . Explain family systems theory and its utility for family communication researchers . 22 ( DEC LU ' interact our families and begin learning our family communication pattern from the time we are born . Families are comparable to cultures in that each family has its beliefs , practices , rituals , and values . Interactions with other families reveal that there are vast differences between families . You notice that the family the street yells at each other almost constantly . Yelling is their baseline interaction , Whereas another family never raises their voices and may seem to speak so infrequently that it appears that they have nothing to talk about their family unit . These differences and our tendency as humans to make comparisons cause individuals to assess the value of the various styles of family communication . Defining Family One of the biggest challenges for family researchers has been to the term The ambiguity of the term has often been seen in the academic literature . The definition of the family developed by Ernest Burgess was the first used definition by The term family was described as two or more persons joined by ties of marriage , blood , or adoption constituting a single household interacting and communicating each other in their respective social roles of husband and , mother and father , son and daughter , brother and sister and creating and maintaining a common According to Burgess , a family must be legally tied together , live together , interact together , and maintain a common culture together . The first three aspects of Burgess definition are pretty easy to conceptualize , but the concept of common culture deserves further explanation . Common culture consists of those communication interactions ( communication ) and cultural tools ( communication acts learned from one culture previous to the marriage ) that each person brings into the marriage or family . The various tools and interactions form a unique and individual subculture that exists within the context of the new family . A couple can pick and choose from their various backgrounds which communicative acts are most important to them and integrate those into the family unit . If a couple has communicative acts that are polarized , then a couple will need to negotiate and form new ways of communicating . Burgess definition of the family was useful because he was the first to examine the family sti attempt to maintain a common culture , but it also has many serious problems that can not be ignored . Burgess definition of the Word family excludes single parent families , commuter families , bisexual , gay , lesbian , and families , and families who do not choose to , or are unable to , have children . 362

Statistical of ' Unchanged By David ( 2015 , January 28 ) What is the Census Bureau of family ?

Printed decennial census reports from 1930 to the present are consistent in their of The 2010 version states A family consists of a householder and one or more other people living in the same household who are related to the householder by birth , marriage or The 1930 version is strikingly similar Persons related in any way to the head of the family by blood , marriage or adoption are counted as members of the But prior to 1930 , the of a family was quite . The 1920 version went like this The term family as here used a group of persons , whether related by blood or not , who live together as one household , usually sharing the same table . One person living alone is counted as a family , and , on the other hand , the occupants or inmates of a hotel or institution , however numerous , are treated as a single The 1900 Census announced The word family has a much wider application , as used for census purposes , than it has in ordinary speech . As a census term , it may stand for a group of individuals who occupy jointly a dwelling place or part of a dwelling place or for an individual living alone in any place of abode . All the occupants and employees of a hotel , if they regularly sleep there , make up a single family , because they occupy one dwelling place The older is closer to the current use of the term Enumerator instructions beginning in at least 1860 and extending at least through 1940 emphasize this older of family . Here is an example from the 1860 instructions By the term family is meant either one person living separately and alone in a house , or a part of a house , and providing for him or herself , or several persons living together in a house , or part of a house , upon one common means of support and separately from others in similar circumstances . A widow living alone and separately providing for herself , or 200 individuals living together and provided for by a common head , should each be numbered as one The 1870 instructions add the element of eating together as one element of a family Under whatever circumstances , and in whatever numbers , people live together under one roof , and are provided for at a common table , there is a family in the meaning of the By 1930 , the concept of a household had become more important and by implication was separated from the term family A household for census purposes is a family or any other group of persons , whether or not related by blood or marriage , living together with common housekeeping arrangements in the same living In 1960 , the concepts of household and family were even more clearly delineated A household ' I

consists of a group of people who sleep in the same dwelling unit and usually have common arrangements for the preparation and consumption of food . Most households consist of a related family group . In some cases , you may three generations represented in one household . Some household members may have no family relationship to the central group boarders and servants , for example but they should be included with the household if they eat and sleep in the same dwelling In summary , the of family before 1930 was more similar to today of household . However , since 1930 , the of family has remained the same , and includes those who are related to the householder by birth , marriage , or adoption . After examining the flaws of Burgess of the word family , an anthropologist , George Peter Murdock , attempted to the family , Social group characterized common residence , economic cooperation , and reproduction . It includes adults of both sexes , at least two of whom maintain a socially approved sexual relationship , and one or more children , own or adopted , of the sexually Once again , this only allows for heterosexual couples who have children to be considered a family because of the socially approved sexual relationship clause . Another problem With this deals with the required inclusion of children for a couple to be labeled as a family . Many couples are unable to have children . Yet other couples opt not to have children . Does this really mean that they are not families ?

Couples , with or without children , should be considered as family units . All in all , this gave more direction than the Burgess one , but it is still extremely ambiguous and exclusive . Another anthropologist , was looking at tribal familial structures all over the world at the turn of the century and the family as having ) boundaries , common residence , and ) mutual affection for one deals primarily with the fact that in different cultures around the world , a family member may include anyone from the immediate family of origin who gave birth to a person , to any member of the society into one is born . Many African tribes see the tribe as being the family unit , and the tribe takes it upon itself to raise the children . United States societal concept of the term family became very rigid during the when the family was depicted by social norms and the media as a mother , father , offspring , and the dog living together behind a White picket fence in the suburbs . Though this is currently what many Americans picture as the typical family , the reality was different . According to Steven and Susan the family structure was very weak in the ( omen started using tranquilizers as a method for dealing With normal household duties , and the divorce rate skyrocketed when compared with the . Currently , only around seven percent of . families participate in the traditional family with , the breadwinning father , and Harriet , the happy homemaking mother , enjoying their marriage , which produced two or more During the , a ' of attempted to the term Arthur the family as an organized , occurring relational interaction system , usually occupying a common living space over an extended time , and possessing a confluence of interpersonal images which evolve through the exchange of messages over Though this is broad enough to allow for a of relationships to be considered families , the is too vague . It has allowed 364

almost anything to be considered a family . Take , for example , individuals who live in a dormitory setting either at a college or in the . The first part of of family is that it has an organized , naturally occurring relational interaction system . In essence , this means that any group that has organization and interacts through various relationships accomplishes part of what it means to be a family . People who live in dormitories interact through various relationships on a regular basis . it be relating with one roommate or with the other people who live in the rooms next to , people in dorms do interact . Dormitories are generally highly organized . People are required to listen to complex directors and Resident Assistants ( on a collegiate level ) Also , with the myriad of dormitory softball teams and other activities , interaction occurs regularly . The second part of definition of the family deals with occupying a common living space for an extended period . People who live in college dormitories do so for around a year . To many transient people , this can be seen as an extended period . The extended time clause is very awkward simply because of its ambiguity . The last aspect of definition of the family deals with the possession of images that evolve through communication . Many people who live in the same space will start to acquire many stories and anecdotes concerning those people with whom they are in close proximity . it be remembering the night that a group went on a beer run or the time when pulled together to win the intramural softball competition , a variety of interpersonal images will be created through communication . As can be seen through the previous discussion , dormitories are facilities where people with others for extended amounts of time and share images that change over time . The people who live in dorms under this definition could be considered as a family unit . These groups of people should not be considered as a family unit because dorm residents lack the permanence that is needed a family structure . Once an academic year is over , the people go their directions , and many people will never see or talk to those people with whom they once lived . A family has an ongoing relationship that is constantly functioning even when the individuals are forced to live apart from the family of origin . Once again , here is a definition that does not allow for a concise explanation that can be easily applied when analyzing a family unit . To understand the concept of a family , the definitions should be combined in such a way that all types of family structures ( single parent , parents ) are included . For our purposes a family is defined as two or more people tied by marriage , blood , adoption , or choice living together or apart by choice or circumstance having interaction within family roles creating and maintaining a common culture being characterized by economic cooperation deciding to have or not to have children , either om or adopted having boundaries and claiming mutual affection . This does not necessarily that all types of families are healthy or legal , but that all groups that consider themselves to be families should be researched as such to understand the specific interactions within the group . Though one may disagree with a specific family group , understanding the group through a family filter can lend itself to a better understanding than could be reached by analyzing the group through an organizational . To understand this definition of family , an analysis of the various aspects of this study definition shall be done to help clarify this definition . Marriage , Blood , Adoption , or Choice The first part of the definition says that a family is two or more people tied by marriage , blood , adoption , or This part of the definition allows for a variety of family options that would not be accepted . This definition also allows for children who become part of a foster family to ' I

have a that they can consider their own , even if are switched from to . couples who consider themselves a family should also be researched as such . This aspect of the definition does open itself to some family types that are seen as illegal ( family members marrying each other ) This does not attempt to create a legal definition of family as much as it attempts to create a definition under which the family can be studied . As mentioned earlier , not all forms of family are necessarily healthy or legal . This part of the definition broadens the field of family study while the remaining criteria narrows the focus so that not just any group can call itself a family . Cohabitation The second part of the definition of family indicates that the may live together or apart by choice or circumstance . There are a Variety of married couples who are not able to live in the same place because of occupation . According to Naomi and Harriet Goss , a commuter family is such a family eer demands at least for marital Viability and its corollary that husbands and wives . share economic fates . The ex of marriages in which spouses separate in the service of divergent suggests a need to question both the presupposition that coresidence is distance or two location families , these marriages entail the maintenance of two separate residences by spouses who are apart from one another for periods ranging from several ( per week to months at a time . These marriages , seen as nontraditional by many , are becoming an increasingly common occurrence within the United States . Any member of the military who is stationed in the United States and sent to other parts of the world without their family experiences the problems caused by commuter marriages . Just because these families are not able to live under the same roof does not mean that they are not a family . Family Roles The third criterion of the definition of family suggests that the persons interact within family roles . These roles include such terms as mom , dad , son , daughter , wife , husband , spouse , and offspring . an adult decides to be the guardian either by birth , adoption , or choice , the adult has taken on the role of a father or mother . a group takes on the roles of parental figures and child figures , they have created a family system within which they can operate . Some of these roles can be related to the understanding of extended family as well , such as grandmother , aunt , uncle , niece , nephew , and the like . These roles and the rules that cultures associate with them have a definite impact on how a family will function . Common Culture The fourth aspect , creating a common culture , stems directly from Burgess Couples bring other aspects ( communicative acts , history , cultural differences , etc . of their lives into the family to create the new subculture that exists in the new family . This can be done whether you have two men , a mother and daughter , or a husband and wife . a couple joins to create a family unit , they are bringing both of their cultural backgrounds to the union , thus creating a unique third family culture that combines the two initial family cultures . Economic Cooperation 366

fifth trait of a deals with economic cooperation , or general pooling of family resources for the benefit of the entire family . Economic cooperation is typically of in the context of nuclear families , but in families units pool their resources in order to keep both living establishments operational . Even though the family is unable to live together , the funds from both parties are used for the proper upkeep and maintenance of each location . In many instances , overseas military men and women will send their paychecks to their families back in the States because they will not need the money while they are out at sea or abroad , and their families still have bills that must get paid . Economic cooperation allows families who dual earners to establish a more egalitarian relationship between the spouses since no one person is seen as the worker and the other as the . Children sixth component of the definition of a family deals with children as a part of a family . Many researchers ( Burgess , 1926 Murdock , Bailey , 1988 ) have said that for a family to exist , it must have would mean that a couple who is infertile and only wants to raise children if they are biologically related would not be considered a family . This also prevents couples who do not desire to have children from achieving a family . There are many unions of people who are not able to children or do not desire to have children who are clearly families . Established Boundaries The seventh characteristic of a family deals with the need for the family to establish boundaries . Family boundaries is a concept that stems from family systems theory . According to Janet and Lynn , boundaries are those aspects of a family that prevent the family from venturing beyond the family Boundaries function as a means for a family to determine the size and the scope of family interactions with the greater system or society . The family can let information into the family or exclude it from the family . An example of this can be seen in religious guardians who are coming to terms with the fact that their son is gay . These guardians often reject information from the family system that would indicate that homosexuality is natural . In this example , the guardians draw an informational boundary and refuse to let information that could contradict their position into the family . Also , families do not function entirely in conjunction with the system of which they are a part . Families must filter information or risk information overload . Families have naturally occurring and created boundaries that decide how a family should and should not operate . Many families create boundaries that deal with religious discussion , or they do not allow for any rejection of the family religious beliefs on any level . This is an example of a boundary that a family can create . Conversely , there are boundaries that a family must respect because of societal laws . Understanding these boundaries is necessary because it allows the researcher a greater understanding of the context in which the family lives . Love and Trust The eighth , and final , trait of a family , mutual affection , deals with the concept of love and trust that a family tends to possess to help them journey through conflict situations . Mutual affection also means that an individual must have a desire to be within the family or possess the freedom to leave the family when they are of age . Families are not coercive entities but entities in which all participants can freely make personal decisions to belong . Leaving the family does not guarantee that a member of a ' I

will be able to lose all connections to the family itself . Besides , the family will have had an impact on members that will affect them even if they leave the family of origin and cut all ties . Understanding the definitions presented about the family and their obvious limitations will help in understanding of the usefulness of this new definition . Too often , definitions of the word have been so narrow in scope that only some families were studied , and thus the research into the family came from only a narrow and rigid perspective . Defining what constitutes a family is a difficult task , but without a clear definition , the study of family communication can not be done effectively . Family Communication Patterns Two communication researchers , Jack and Steven , found that most models of families relied on dichotomous ideas ( aut ( traditional ) Instead of relying on these perspectives , and realized that family communication happens along two different and ( In a series of further studies , David Ritchie and Mary Anne identified two family communication patterns conformity orientation and conversation ' To and , conformity oriented ) families are indicated by the frequency of ( or emphasis on ) communication that is designed to produce deference , and to foster harmony and pleasant social relationships in the Families high in tend to communicate a of attitudes , beliefs , and values . Similarity and harmony are valued while conflict avoided . Family members maintain interdependence within a hierarchical structure . One of the authors comes from a family where and harmony were valued to the extent that any amount of disagreement was frowned upon . The parents never ( literally ) argued or disagreed in front of the children . Despite the desires of her parents , the personalities of the children soon emerged and revealed that neither child could go along with total similarity and harmony . One child dealt with this difference by learning to keep his opinions to himself . The other sibling , who happened to be the oldest child , never learned to keep her opinion to herself . Her communication style simply did not align with the conformity orientation and friction was the result . You may have similar experiences if your communication style is different from your family communication orientation . To and , conversation oriented ) families use positive constraints to stimulate the child to develop his views about the world . and to consider more than one side of an High ( families engage in open and frequent communication . Family life and interactions are perceived to be pleasurable . is encouraged when attempting to make family decisions . guardians and children communicate in such a way that guardians socialize and educate their children . Understanding the communication pattern within a family can lead to the ability to adapt to the family communication pattern rather than consistently communicating in a manner that is uncomfortable within the family structure . Four Combinations 368

To further explain the concepts of and ( Jack ( and Steven broke the combinations into four categories ( Figure ) Consensual The first family communication pattern is the consensual , which is marked by both high levels of and ( The term consensual is used here because there is a tendency in these families to strive for or have pressure for agreement between guardian and children . Children are encouraged to think outside the box as long as it doesn impact the guardians power or the family hierarchy . However , These conflicting pressures may induce the child to retreat from the interaction . There is some evidence of escape by consensual children , such as strikingly heavy viewing of television fantasy Family Communication Pattern The second type ( is the protective family , which is marked by high levels of and low levels of . In these families , there tends to be a strong emphasis on child obedience and family harmony . As such , children are taught that they should not disagree with their openly or engage in conversations where differences of opinion may be found . and noted that strive to protect their children from any kind of controversy , which may actually make them more vulnerable to outside pressures and persuasion because they have not been taught how to be critical thinkers . The third type of family communication is pluralistic , which is the opposite of the protective and marked by high levels ( and low levels ( In these families , The emphasis in this communication structure seems to be on mutuality of respect and 369

combination of an absence of social constraint plus a positive impetus to should foster communication and Some guardians worry that this of openness of thought actually creates problems in their , but and noted that these families have children who are more likely to say they want to grow up and be like their guardians than the other three types . inte re The family communication pattern , is marked by low and . In these families , there tends to be a lack of interaction or . Instead , these are more likely to be influenced by external factors like the media , pee , and other forces outside of the family unit . and said that these are more like a control group in an experiment because of the nature of their communicative relationships with their patterns . As such , it somewhat difficult to discuss the effectiveness of this study of family communication . Research Spotlight In a 2018 study by Kelly Tina Harris , the researchers set out to examine the relationship between family communication patterns and adult children racial prejudice and tolerance . The researchers used a mostly sample of 190 adults . Parental use of family communication patterns was positively related to an adult child reported levels of prejudice an ( towards their own group , and negatively related to being racially tolerant . As for , there were no relationships found at all . Ultimately , a parent conformity oriented family communication style can affect their children racial biases . Harris , 2018 ) socialization The influence of parents family communication patterns on adult children racial prejudice and tolerance . 66 ( 321 . Family Systems Theory At the turn of the 20 Century , philosophers started questioning humans organize things and our understanding of organizing . One critical theorist was Alexander , who mote a philosophical treaty on the nature of organization in ideas ultimately influenced Ludwig von general systems theory . In a series of works , what has become known as general systems defined a system as sets of elements standing in 23 A classic mechanical system is a watch . Figure shows the basic layout of a watch innards . In this illustration , we see how the balance wheel causes the fork pin to move , which turns the ment wheel . The escapement wheel turns the third wheel ( seconds ) which turns the second wheel , which 370

Fork Pin Third Wheel I , I I , I I I I I minutes Balance Wheel Escapement Wheel Second Wheel Reduction Gear I hours Figure . Watch System turns the first wheel ( minutes ) which turns the reduction gear , which turns the hour wheel . All of these different parts must work together to tell time . If a problem arises at any part of this process , then it will effect the entire system an ( our ability to tell time accurately . So , how does this ultimately help us understand family communication ?

A psychiatrist named Murray ( family systems in the while working at the National Institute of Mental Health . His theory stemmed from the work of general systems theory discussed by Like , theory started by examining how everything exists within nature an ( is governed by natural processes . Two of these processes , individuality an ( togetherness , became central to these Individuality is a universal , biological life force that propels organisms toward separateness , uniqueness , and , on the other hand , is the complementary , universal , biological life force that propels organisms toward relationship , attachment , and 27 This essential dialectical tension creates an organism differentiation , or its drive to be both individualistic while maintaining intimate connections with others in the larger environment . This more ecological View of how humans exist becomes a central tenant of family systems . argues that human behavior was not greatly determined by or generated . Instead , believes that a great deal of human behavior is habitual an ( rooted in billions of years of evolutionary . In his earliest work , examined schizophrenic patients as he was interested in the development and treatment of schizophrenia . Instead of focusing just on the schizophrenic patient , started analyzing the broader range of relationships within the individual family units . Ultimately , that schizophrenia might be an individual diagnosis , but is in reality , a symptom manifestation of an active process that involves the entire goes on to rationalize , When schizophrenia is seen as a family problem , it is not a disease in terms of our usual way of thinking about disease When the family is viewed as a unit , certain clinical patterns come into focus that are not easily seen from the more familiar individual of In essence , when we stop to think about a family as a system , its much easier to understand the manifestations of behaviors of family members . 71

Characteristics of Family Systems Over the years , numerous researchers have furthered the basic ideas of Murray to further our understanding of family systems . Part of this process has been identifying different characteristics of systems . According to Kathleen , Fran , and ( there are seven essential characteristics of systems interdependence , wholeness , interactive , openness , complex relationships , and . Interdependence term interdependence means that changes in one part of the system Will have for other parts of the system . For example , if one of the gears in your Watch gets bent , the gear will affect the rest of the watch ability to tell time . In this idea , the behaviors of one family member will impact the behaviors of other family members . To combine this idea with family communication patterns described earlier , guardians that are high in and low in will impact those children willingness and openness to communicate about issues of disagreement . On the larger issue of pathology , numerous diseases and addictions can impact people behave and interact . If you have a family who a child diagnosed with cancer , the focus of the entire family may shift to the care of that one child . If the ( rally the family in support , this diagnosis could bring everyone together . On the other hand , its also possible that the complete focus of the guardians turns to the ill child and the other children could feel unattended to or unloved , which could lead to feelings of isolation , jealousy , and resentment . Wholeness idea of Wholeness or is to be able to see behaviors and outcomes within the context of the system . To understand how a tells time , you can not just look at the fork pin activity and understand the concept of time . In the same way , examining a single fight between two siblings can not completely let you know everything you need to know about how that family interacts or that fight came to happen . How siblings interact with one another can be manifestations of they have observed their guardians handle among themselves or even extended family members like uncles , grandparents , and cousins . Holism is often discussed in opposite to reductionism . believe that the best way to understand someone communicative behavior is to break it down into the simplest parts that make up the tem . For example , if a teenager exhibits verbal aggression , a reductionist would explain the verbally aggressive behavior in terms of hormones ( specifically testosterone and serotonin ) Holistic stems thinkers don negate the different parts of the system , but rather like to take a larger View of everything that led to the aggressive behavior . For example , does the teenager mirror their family verbally aggressive tendencies ?

Basically , What other parts of the system are at play when examining a single behavioral outcome . Families , like any natural organism , like balance and predictability . To help with this balance and predictability , systems ( including family systems ) create a complex series of both rules and norms . Rules are dictates that are spelled out . Many children grow up hearing , children are to be seen and not This rule dictates that in social situations , children are not supposed to make noise or actively 372

communicate with others . Norms , on the other hand , are patterns of behavior that are arrived at through the system . For example , maybe your mother has a home office , and everyone knows that when she is in her office , she should not be disturbed . Of course , one of the problems with patterns and is that they become deeply entrenched and are not able to be changed or corrected quickly or easily . hen a family is suddenly faced with a crisis event , these patterns and may prevent the family from actively correcting the course . For example , imagine you live in a family where everyone is taught not to talk about the family problems with anyone outside the family . If one of the family members starts having problems , the family may try to circle the wagons and ultimately not get the help it needs . This is an example of a situation that happened to one of our families . In this case , one of our coauthor cousins became an alcoholic during his teen years . VVe call him Jesse . Very few people in the immediate family even know about Jesse problems . esse mother was a widely known community leader , so there was a family rule that said , don make mom or our family look esse parents found out about his alcoholism ( through a DUI ) they circled the wagons and tried to deal with the problem as a family . Unfortunately , dealing with a disease like alcoholism by closing ranks is not the best way to get someone treatment . One night Jesse mother was called out to an accident at a local night club where a drunk driver had hit several people . hen esse mother showed up , it was only then that she learned that the drunk driver had been her son . In this case , the rule about protecting the family image had become so ingrained , that the family hadn taken all of the steps necessary to esse the help he needed . Although no one died in the accident , one young woman hit was paralyzed for the rest of her , esse ended up going to prison for several years . Interactive Complexity The notion of interactive complexity stems back to the original work conducted by Murray on family systems theory . In his initial research looking at schizophrenics , a lot of families labeled the schizophrenic as the problem or the patient , which allowed them to put the blame for family problems and interactions on the schizophrenic . Instead , realized that schizophrenia was one person diagnosis in a family system where there were usually multiple issues going on . Trying to reduce everything down to the one label , essentially letting everyone else off the hook for any blame for family problems , was not an accurate portrayal of the family . Instead , it important to think about interactions as complex and stemming from the system itself . For example , all married couples will have disagreements . Some married couples take these disagreements , and they become highly contentious . These are often repetitious and seen over and over again . Mary asks Anne to take out the trash . The next Mary sees that the trash hasn been taken out yet . Mary turns to Anne at bre ' and says , Are you ever going to take out the trash ?

Anne quickly replies , Stop nagging me already . I get it done when I get it Before too long , this becomes a fight about Anne not listening to Mary from Mary , while the conversation becomes about Mary constant nagging from Anne . Before long , the argument devolves into an argument about who started the conflict in the first place . and Marrow argue that trying to determine who started the conflict is not appropriate from a systems perspective , instead , researchers should focus on current patterns serve to uncover ongoing complex Openness ' I

The next major characteristic of systems is openness . The term openness refers to how permissive system boundaries are to their external environment . Some families have fairly open boundaries . In essence , these families allow for a constant inflow of information from the external environment and of information to the external environment . Other families are considerably more rigid about system boundaries . For example , maybe a family is deeply religious and does not allow television in the home . Furthermore , this family only allows reading materials that come from their religious sect and actively prevents any ideas that may threaten their religious ideology . In this case , the has a very rigid and closed boundary . families close themselves off from the external environment , they essentially isolate themselves . Children who are reared in highly isolated family often have problems interacting with other children when they come into contact with them in the external environment ( school ) Some families Will choose to homeschool their children as another tool to close the family system to foreign ideas and influences . Complex Relationships It important to remember that all family systems also have multiple subsystems . One of the areas that Murray became interested in was how family subsystems develop and function during times of crisis . In view , a couple may be the basic unit Within an emotional relationship . Still , any tension between the couple will usually result in one or both parties turning to others . If there are not others within the family itself , partners will bring external people into the instability . For example , James and Ralph just got married . After a recent argument , Ralph ended up talking to his best friend , Shelly , about the argument ( Figure ) argues a person system under stress will draw in a third party to provide balance , which ultimately creates a or a dynamic . It also possible that ames decides to talk to his mother , Polly , which creates a different triangle . Families are filled with relationship triangles . could describe Ralph and James as parents and Shell and Polly as their daughters ust as easily . These triangles are always being created and defined within a family unit when there is instability between two people . During times of crisis , these triangles take on a solution to the instability in the relationship . Unfortunately , this solution is either or a ( Basically , in a triangle , there are now two people on one side and one on the other , so it gives a sense of balance . The Figure . Nature of Three more family members we start to include , the more complicated these triangle structures become . The final characteristic of family systems is . is defined as the ability to get to the 374

same end result using multiple starting points and paths . Going back to the basic definition of family discussed earlier in this chapter , there are many different ways for people to form relationships that are called families . family systems theory , the goal is to see how different family systems achieve the same outcomes ( whether positive or negative ) MINDFULNESS ACTIVITY Research has demonstrated that parental mindfulness has an indirect impact on children internalizing or externalizing of i As such , mindful parenting is an extremely useful tool when raising children ( specifically being attentive , and ) Furthermore , Jill recommends three specific factors for successful mindful parenting . Noticing your om feelings when you re in conflict with your child , Learning to pause before responding in anger , Listening carefully to a child viewpoint even when disagreeing with its and Jon define mindful parenting as Seeing if We can remember to bring this kind of attention and openness and wisdom to our moments with our children . It is a true practice , its own inner discipline , its own form of 35 The essence of mindful parenting is about being present in ones interactions with their children . For this activity , answer the following questions . If you are not a parent , think about how your own parents guardians would answer these questions . you are spending time as a family , are you free from distractions ( cell phones , television ) Does your family have a clear schedule that creates a stable routine ( mealtimes , for children ) Does your family engage in family time that does not involve technology ?

How often do you dedicate time to focus purely on your child needs ?

engaging in a With your child , do you remove yourself when you start to get angry ( taking a time out ) How often do you apologize to your child when you re wrong ?

watching your children behavior , do you find yourself observing them or judging them ?

was the last time you considered your intentions , judgments , and attitude towards your child during an interaction ?

Mapping Family Systems One of the revolutionary tools created by Murray to understand family relationships is the . A a pictorial representation of a family across generations . Unlike a traditional family tree , a is designed to detail data and not just basic demographic information ( biological sex , birth dates , death dates , used effectively , you can track generations of family interactions , medical issues , psychological issues , relationship patterns , and any other variable a researcher or clinician may be interested in The standard starts with a couple pairing of some kind . In a , males are ' I

represented by squares and females are represented circles . Figure is a key for elements in a . Please understand that this is not an exhaustive list . Researchers commonly add to illustrate specific issues of interest . Furthermore , not all of symbols below are agreed upon by all researchers utilize . As such , it essential to know the key an is using attempting to understand a . Figure . Idyllic Family As can see in Figure , your basic allows individuals to look at various basic of individuals within a family , the types of relationships , types of relationship interactions , and any mental illness and other diseases . thinking about your family , many people think of family represented in Figure . In this , we have two heterosexual couples who each have a boy and a girl , then turn around and have a and a girl of own ( and , of course , one dog and one cat ) However , most families don look like this . Families are complicated and mes To help us understand , let look at your typical , The ( Figure ) As you can see , there is a lot going on in this . three general familial lines in play within this The Solo ( to the left ) the Skywalker ( in the middle ) and the ( to the ) four generations represented within this . For our purposes , the index person is Luke ( highlighted in the yellow box ) For those of who are unaware , the first trilogy of Star centers around Luke Skywalker , so it makes sense to see him as the index person for our . Let examine some of the family interactions . Lets start with Luke and Leia . They are fraternal twins who were separated by birth . Luke is adopted by his uncle Owen Lars and his wife . Leia , on the other , is adopted by Bail and Queen . Ultimately , the two do find each other and establish a close relationship as adults , which is why the cut symbol was used between them . Luke also happens to be best friends with Leia future husband Han Solo . Han an interesting life before Leia . From what we know , he may been previously married to Sana ( she said they were , he said they weren ) There also the possibility that Han had an affair with an unknown woman and had a child out of wedlock Danielle . Of course , the bulk of the original trilogy of Star movies centers on the triangle relationship between Luke , Leia , and their father , Skywalker ( also known as Darth Vader ) To put it mildly , 376

Symbols Basic Symbols Male Female Child Gay Lesbian Bisexual Bis Pet Adopted Foster Biological Biological Unknown Male Female Male Female Child Child Child Child Gender Female Male Pregnancy Miscarriage Abortion Death Death Fraternal Male Female Index Index Twins Person Person Relationship Types Cohabitation Engagement Separation Divorce Love Affair Temporary One Night Stand Marriage Relationship Interactions ) a ) Harmony Close Fused Hostile Close Hostile Fused Hostile Cutoff Cutoff Repaired Fused Violence Distrust Physical Abuse Emotional Abuse Sexual Abuse Neglect Illness Other Diseases ' Heart Sexually Diabetes Arthritis Autism Obesity Cancer Physical Suspected in Recovery Depression or Mental Drug from Alcohol Disease Disease Transmitted illness Abuse Drug Alcohol Abuse 84 Infection Abuse Abuse Mental Problem Figure . Key ' CI ( 377

ea gem 250 am 28 28 32 mam Eng 362 322 as 35 as 28 28 28 28 ea aim cam 535 28 ge 28 so 28 Figure . 378 ) Vader is a slightly distant father figure and prone to acts of violence . His acts of violence are not targeted at his children , but also at anyone perceives to get in his way . During one of his more dramatic acts of violence , Darth Vader destroys the entire planet of , kills Leia adopted parents in the process . Of course , this is after he gives the order to kill his Owen and his wife , who were Luke adopted parents . As we said earlier , families are complicated and messy . Now , we used the Star world as a tool to help illustrate can help us family histories and understand family dynamics . Let look at a from a real family . The following is created without names , but all parts of the represent an actual family ( Figure ) Figure . Real Family Take a few moments and look at this . VVhat do you see ?

How would you characterize this family ?

You have a number of close relationships . You have two children who were adopted . Both of whom have repaired the relationships with their , but no apparent connection with their birth fathers . You have single adults with pets . You three marriages that ended in divorce . For a couple of people , we have no information , which is why we question marks for two males in the . have a situation where two male siblings had an intense hatred for their stepmother . have one gay man who is single and a bisexual woman who is now living with another bisexual woman . also one suspected of alcohol abuse . show you this because it more realistic of modern families look . Modern family systems aren clean and easy to follow . Sure , we could put all of people on leaves in a family tree , but you would only get a fraction of the picture of what this family looks like . are an excellent tool for getting a bird eye view of a family functions .

Research Spotlight In ( Parent , Jessica Clifton , Rex Forehand , Andrew , Megan Reid , and Emily set out to examine the relationships among parental mindfulness , relationship quality , an ( parental firm control ( degree to which the parent consistently regulates and monitors the child activities and conduct 37 ) For this study , the researchers examined Black children who had a single mother and the mother had a cohabitating male ( who lived with them . The average age A of the children participants was 13 years old the average age of the mother was 39 and the average age of the was 41 . First , the research did not a relationship between a mother mindfulness and her mindfulness . For the mothers , mindfulness was positively related to relationship quality , and positively related to parental firm control . For the , mindfulness was positively related to relationship quality , but was not related to parental firm control . should also mention that mother and relational quality was positively related , and there was a positive relationship between mother an ( use of parental firm control . The researchers used family systems theory to help explain the role within the family system . Specifically , the researchers argue , It is also to note that the role in different family sul ) may be , at least in part , determined how a mother defines her male partner role . For example , his main role may lie to meet her relationship needs contribute to completing general household responsibilities ( grocery shopping , cleaning ) rather than setting limits on an adolescent aged ( 38 Parent , Clifton , Forehand , Reid , 2014 ) Parental mindfulness and dyadic relationship quality in black Associations with parenting experienced by adolescents . Couple Family Psychology , Keg Takeaways Although there are numerous definitions for the term family , this book uses the following definition two or more people tied by marriage , blood , adoption , or choice living together or apart by choice or circumstance having interaction Within family roles creating and maintaining a common culture being characterized by economic cooperation deciding to have or not to have children , either om or adopted having boundaries and claiming mutual affection . The family structure is represented by , and adults living together without children . The idea of family has shifted away from the notion that a family is made up of a mother , father , and children . Jack and Steven originally coined the term family communication patterns and broke the concept into two different patterns of family communicative behavior ( and ( is the pattern of family communication where freedom of expression is encouraged , communication is frequent , and family life is pleasurable . Conversely , is the pattern of family communication where similarity is valued over individuality and , and harmony is preferred over expression of opinion . Murray family systems theory is an extension of Ludwig von general systems theory . argued that human behavior is not determined 380

by or generated , but is habitual and rooted in billions of years of evolutionary history . As such , to understand how someone behaves or communicates today , its important to see how this communication can be understood through generations of family members . Reflect on your experiences as a family member . How does your own family compare to other families in communication patterns and Describe your idea of the ideal family . How would your ideal family communicate ?

Is this different from your own family ?

Use conformity orientation and conversation orientation to describe two families you know . Create your own for your family , including at least three generations . You can create this using a pen and paper , graphic arts software , or software . The used in this book were created using Pro , There is also a paired free version of this ( I ( Changes . Differentiate among the different stages of a family life cycle . Explain some of the common problems researchers have identified with family life cycle approaches . ma 22 ( DEC LU ' One of the fascinating parts of the study of relationships in families is that they are always changing . As the dynamics of a family change , so do the communication networks . For example , a family that starts with a pair of committed adults suddenly becomes a group when they either have their first child , foster their first child , adopt their first child , etc . VVith the addition of one other life into the family household , the nature and dynamics change almost overnight . Family Life Cycle The notion that families go through systematic cycles that resemble other families is nothing Early research attempted to focus on the differences in families between those that existed in rural and urban settings . One such researcher , Charles , broke families down into four general categories . couples of age . Families With children under the age of ( Families With at least one child over the age of 14 but under 36 . Old families . 81 '

Other characteristics that found could impact the family life cycle were those from the addition of both parents children and children ( nieces , nephews , Of course , the age breakdown shown by primarily had to do with work . Generally , children under the age of 14 were not considered fully capable of work whereas , those over the age of 14 were considered . You also notice that stage three is generally viewed as the time when a family has the most working adults within the unit . At this time , especially in rural America , it was assumed that adult children would stay on the homesteads and help with the upkeep and duties , whether it was a farm or ranch . These were endeavors . Eventually , a family became old , and the next generation continued the cycle by their children keep the homesteads running . Of course , our understanding of how families function has changed quite a bit since the . Studying family life cycles has been a consistent endeavor across generations of family scholars . For our , we are going to discuss the more recent family life cycle , discussed by David and Laura , along with some problems inherently associated with this type of research . Understanding how families generally function is essential for scholars because it lets us know what major events in someone life can be predicted . For our purposes , we are going to quickly examine David and Laura Family Life Cycle ( Figure ) Young Singles Young Singles The first stage of any family starts when single people enter in the world and start looking for potential partners . Most people begin to think about this stage when they are around 18 years of age and enter into the world outside of their guardians house . They go out A 90 ' I ?

we know that in our modern world , this always how this works . Older Children ) Empty Nest One ( Still Working , Launched Children ) Young Couples ( No Children ) Eventually , a couple starts to as a couple . In today Em modern world , we see the couple stage as one that exists with no children . During this time , the focus of the couple is often on developing themselves by going to college or starting a career . Some marketers ?

refer to a couple at this stage as 382 dinks , dual incomes , no kids . As you can imagine , links are often sought out by marketers because they generally have a higher expendable income level compared to those who do have children or are just starting out . As couples come together , they enter into a period that many scholars call building . Each member of the couple brings with a distinct cultural background and upbringing . The more distinct the cultural differences , the easier it is to see where these differences are . For example , maybe you have a couple where one was raised in the Middle East and the other in South America . These two distinct parts of our world have countless numbers of cultural differences that even outsiders can quickly pinpoint . However , all couples members can come from different cultural backgrounds , even if the cultures themselves are similar . For example , you could have a Baptist and a Methodist who were both born and raised in the same town in rural Louisiana . Generally speaking , there may be some minor cultural differences between these two people because of denominational distinctions in their Christian upbringing . Still , these differences aren huge ( though some may them ) But even in these cases where people are very similar , there will be cultural differences that exist that must be dealt with as the couple comes together . a couple negotiates their cultural background with the cultural background of their partner , they are building a new Sometimes these cultural differences can be very small . Maybe one member of the couple always opens presents on Christmas Day , and the other member of the couple always opens presents on Christmas Eve . The couple could decide to open one present on Christmas Eve and the rest on Christmas Day . In this case , the couple has negotiated their cultural differences to create a new pattern . Other cultural differences can be much larger . In our example of the couple from the Middle East and South America , we could have the need to negotiate the religious upbringing of a children in the Islamic and Roman Catholic faiths . Maybe the couple is atheist , and will not include any kind of religious teaching into the rearing of children , or the couple could opt for some type of combination of both . Its also entirely possible that one member of the couple will convert to the other member religion to ensure religious upbringing in a specific faith . Ultimately , building is a unique part of any couple . Some couples will have fairly minor cultural differences to negotiate , while other couples could have very large cultural differences to negotiate . The important part is that this is a negotiation by the couple . Full Nest One ( Children ) Once a couple decides to involve children , and break this phase into three distinct categories or stages depending on the age of the children . The first stage with children ( full nest one ) occurs when a couple has aged children . age children require more parental oversight . also see couples with children starting to associate more and more with other couples who also have children , which can cause changes to a couple social network . Other couples may become dependent on both their nuclear and extended family for help . In contrast , others depend on paid help in the forms of nannies or daycare facilities . When the initial couple consists of earners , these extended networks become paramount for the ability of the couple to maintain their occupations . Full Nest Two ( Children ) In full nest two , the couple has children who are now in school . Once kids go to school , a good chunk of their ( lay is spent in the care of adults outside of the nuclear or extended family . For this reason , the ' I

traditional workday tends to be somewhat more flexible for these guardians , but their evenings and weekends are often filled with family functions . As children grow older , parental oversight and direction become less necessary , but children also start taking on their om busy lives and schedules that often conflict with their lives and schedules . Full Nest Three ( Older Children ) In full nest three , the couple children are older and more and more independent however , they are still somewhat dependent upon their families for food and shelter . As children try to increasingly demand their own identities apart from their guardians , relationships are often fraught with various degrees of conflict . On the one hand , you have guardians who have been in a parental oversight role for many years , and on the other , you have children who are seeking their own independence and autonomy . Finding the balance between these polarizing forces is often easier said than done for many families . Empty Nest One ( Still Working , Launched Children ) The next stage is empty nest one , which happens once children are launched , but the are still working . The launching stage occurs when late adolescents leave the parental home and venture out into the world as young singles themselves . Historically , late adolescents started the launching stage when they exited the home and went off to college . However , it possible that going to college is only a . In today world , many adolescents go off to college and then after college find it almost impossible to function in many large cities on a single salary , so they end up back at home living with their . At the same time , adolescents seek to achieve economic security , but some find it impossible to do so , depending on what going on within our economy . For example , after the economic downturn of 2008 , many recent college graduates had a tough time finding because they were competing against people with decades of experience who had lost their jobs and desperately needed work ( even work ) As I writing this , we re seeing the same problem once again as a result of the 2020 . As I writing this sentence , we re just at the beginning of the global economic disaster stemming from the outbreak of . Many experts are predicting that we could be looking at a period of economic unease not seen since the Great Depression started in 1929 . If this economy does dive into a depression , we see more and more late adolescents forced to live longer and longer with their out of economic necessity . Although it was simply too early , in March 2020 , to tell what would happen , experts predicted that 80 million jobs are at moderate to high risk of disappearing ( more than half the jobs in the today ) By the height of the first wave , around 31 Million Citizens were filing for unemployment as a result of Eventually , most will experience a period when their adult children have launched , and the , themselves , are still working . Empty Nest Two ( Retired ) Empty nest two occurs once both have decided to retire . Now , retirement is one of those options that may not be viable for everyone , so some couples never end up in empty nest two as a necessity . Other couples spend almost the last third of their lives in retirement . In many ways , couples in retirement have a lot of the same they had when they were young couples . 384

Solitary Survivor ( Retired ) The typical final stage in the family life cycle is when one partner passes away , leaving the other partner on . In essence , an individual older , and yet again , single . Problems with Life Cycle Research Probably the most apparent problem with the traditional approach to the family life cycle is that it does not take into account a wide range of differing family possibilities . For example , Elisa Backer noted several other options that could exist outside of the traditional family cycle Young singles ( less than 35 years old ) Young couples ( no children ) female less than 35 years old ) Cay couple ( no children ) Cay couple ( with children ) Older couple ( no children ) female years of age ) Older retired couple ( no children from current marriage ) couple ( children from current relationship with or without children from previous relationship ) couple ( no children from current relationship with or without children from previous relationship ) Older divorced single ( no children ) Single parent ( children still at home ) Older single ( never been married , no children ) years old ) Couple with children ( youngest child not at school ) Couple with children ( youngest child at school ) Couple with older children ( all children finished school ) Empty Nest I ( still Working , children left home ) Empty Nest II ( retired , children left home ) widower who is not working and partner is deceased ) still Working ) Another commonly discussed problem with this approach to understanding the family life cycle is that many individuals do not walk through the family life cycle in an exact sequence . For example , someone could be single , get married , get divorced , get married again , have a child , lose a partner , get remarried , have another child ( one child is age one is recently launched ) etc . Suddenly , we ve gone from a path that seems highly normalized and StI ' I to one that contains a lot more uncertainty and diversions from the typical path of As a Whole , family life cycles are an excellent tool for having a general understanding of how many families function within society , but many families do not experience the life cycle as a linear process from singlehood to death . 385 ( I

I Keg Takeaways I David and Laura Family Life Cycle consists of distinct stages ) young singles , young couples ( no children ) full nest one ( school children ) full nest two ( children ) full nest three ( older children ) empty nest one ( still working , launched children ) and ) empty nest two ( retired ) Although the concept of family life cycles is a useful tool for examining families , there are some inherent limitations to this approach . First , the life cycle doesn allow for different types of family units . Additionally , many individuals do not walk through the family life cycle in an exact sequence . um ' Use the idea of a family life cycle to map out the cycle of a famous family . You want to choose a family that has completed the full to make this activity easier . Once you ve mapped out the family , answer the following questions . Did the life cycle fit this ?

How easy was it to determine the different parts of the family life cycle ?

VVhat critiques would you have of the applicability of the family life cycle approach to this specific family ?

Think about your om family life cycle . Attempt to plot out the life cycle of your family through at least three generations your grandparents ( or equivalent ) your parents ( or equivalent ) and yourself and any siblings ( or equivalent ) Sibling . Explain the two main concepts Shirley McGuire , Susan , and Kimberly found in research related to ca . siblings . Differentiate among Shirley McGuire , Susan , and ' Kimberly different sibling relationship types . Describe different ways that siblings maintain their relationships . After examining the literature related to siblings , Shirley McGuire , Susan , and Kimberly realized that two main concepts were commonly discussed in the literature hostility and Sibling hostility was characterized by such sibling behaviors as causing trouble , getting into fights , taking things ( permission , etc . Sibling warmth , on the other hand , was characterized by sibling behaviors such as sharing secrets , helping each other , teaching each other , physical affection , sharing possessions , etc . Research has us that warmth and an impact on sibling relationships . For example , individuals who higher levels of sibling 386

warmth are more likely to engage in Individuals who have sibling ( that are high in hostility are more likely to report higher levels of aggression , anxiety , depression , and Sibling Relationship Types McGuire , and knew that these two dimensions were distinct from one another , so they set ( ut ( create a ( of sibling relationships based on hostility ( high low ) and warmth ( high low ) Affect You can see this typology in Figure . Harmonious High The first type ( sibling relationship is the harmonious relationship . Harmonious sibling relationships are characterized by ( levels of hostility and high levels ( warmth . In these relationships , the siblings get along very well and have very ( levels of problematic conflict . Often siblings in this ( ry get along so well that they are very close friends in addition , being siblings . When it ( I I outcomes , harmonious siblings were found to have lower Figure Sibling ?

feelings of loneliness and higher Research has also found gender effects . sibling pairs are both female , they are more likely to report harmonious relationships than the other three sibling relationship types . At the same time , the combination of gender and also makes a difference . Males who are the firstborn are Sibling Hostility Low less likely to report sibling Hostile The opposite type of the harmonious sibling relationship is the hostile sibling relationship , which is characterized by high levels of hostility and low levels of warmth . These relationships are marked by high levels ( conflict between the siblings , which can often be highly physically and Verbally aggressive . Furthermore , individuals in hostile sibling relationships are more likely to problems as well as ( wer academic success , social competence , and feelings of These people often perceive their siblings as rivals within the family unit , so there is an inherent competition ( scarce resources . Often these resources are related to parental attention , respect , and love . 387

The third sibling type is the relationship . sibling relationships are marked by both high levels of hostility and . These sibling relationships are as nurturing as harmonious relationships and as dominating as hostile relationships . These relationships are also perceived as more satisfying than hostile sibling relationships . 52111 one study examining sibling relationships , researchers found that 38 of siblings from divorced families reported their sibling relationships as as compared to only 22 of siblings from intact families . Uninvolved The last type of sibling relationship is called the uninvolved , which is characterized by low levels of both hostility and warmth . sibling relationships don have any of the problems associated with or hostile sibling relationships . They also do not report any of the benefits that have been found with harmonious sibling 33 sibling relationships also appear to develop later in life . Perhaps the separation processes and increased focus on peers that begin during adolescence stimulate the development of an uninvolved sibling relationship . Sibling Relationship Maintenance One area where communication scholars have been instrumental in the field of sibling relationships has been in relationship maintenance , or the communicative behaviors that one engages in to preserve a relationship with another person . In one of the earliest studies to examine sibling relationships in the field , Scott Myers and a group of students explored the connection between relationship communication and sibling communication satisfaction , liking , and Equality , receptivity , immediacy , similarity , and composure were all positively related to communication satisfaction . Composure , equality , similarity , and receptivity were all positively related to sibling liking . Equality , similarity , and receptivity were positively related to loving one sibling . The researchers also noted that individuals who perceived their relationships as more formal reported lower levels of loving their siblings . This first study helped pave the way for future research in examining how relationship communication impacts sibling relationships . In a study , Scott Myers and Keith Weber set out to construct a measure for analyzing how individuals use communication to maintain their sibling In their research , Myers and found six distinct Ways that siblings maintain their relationships through communication confirmation , humor , social support , family visits , escape , and verbal aggression Confirmation The first way that siblings engage in relational is through confirmation . Confirmation messages help a sibling communicate how much they value the sibling . Sometimes it as simple as telling a sibling , I pretty to have a sister like This sentence can be an easy way to demonstrate how much someone means to you . These types of messages help validate the other sibling and the relationship . Humor A second relational maintenance tool that siblings can use is humor . Being able to laugh With one 388

sibling is a great way to enjoy other company . Often siblings find things completely hilarious that outsiders not understand because of the unique nature of sibling relationships . Siblings also can lovingly make fun of each other . Now , we re not talking about making fun of someone in a demeaning or manner . For example , one of our has an older brother who loves to give him a hard time . Recently , our coauthor misspelled something on , and his brother was right there to point it out and give him a hard time . In some relationships , this could be viewed as criticism , but because of the nature of their relationship , our coauthor knew the incident should be taken in jest . Social Support The third way siblings engage in relational is through social support . Social support is an individual perception and the that an individual is loved and cared for and people they can turn to when assistance or help is needed . Between siblings , this could involve conversations about one romantic life or even about parental concerns . Another way that siblings often provide social support is by giving and seeking advice from their sibling ( Family Events fourth that families engage in social support is through family events . Not all families are big on family events , but some families participate in gatherings regularly . Some siblings will avoid these events to avoid seeing their other siblings , but many siblings see these opportunities as a way to keep their sibling relationships going . One of our coauthor family problems getting together each year ( hiring the holidays because of how busy their schedules are in December . Instead , our coauthor and family go on family trips . Over the years , they ve gone to Australia , Alaska , Hawaii , Bahamas , San Francisco , New York City , New Zealand , and many other places . Currently , they re planning trips to Belize and back to Hawaii . The family looks forward to these vacations together . In addition to these trips , our coauthor father also arranges periodic family reunions for his side of the family . Our coauthor and their sibling often end up rooming together because both are single . Ultimately , both look forward to these reunions because it gives them a chance to catch up . Escape It often great to attend family events , but we usually only like to attend when we know our sibling will be there . In these cases , we often use our siblings as a form of escape . In fact , some siblings will only attend family when they know their sibling ( will be there . VVe often have a range of reasons for why we need to escape when we re interacting with our family , but we are sure glad our sibling ( are there when we need that escape . Verbal Aggression The final relational maintenance strategy that siblings have been found to use is verbal aggression . Verbal aggression is generally not viewed as a positive tool for communication . However , some sibling pairs have realized over time that verbally aggressive behavior allows them to get their way or vent their frustrations . However , in the original study by and Myers , the researchers did find that all of the other relational maintenance strategies were positively related to sibling liking , commitment , and , but verbal aggression was not . 57 ' I

Keg Takeaways McGuire , Susan , and Kimberly examined literature related to siblings and found that there were two common variables hostility and warmth . Sibling hostility is characterized by sibling behaviors as causing trouble , getting into fights , taking things Without permission , etc Sibling warmth , on other hand , is characterized by sibling behaviors as sharing secrets , helping each other , other , showing affection , sharing possessions , etc . Shirley McGuire , Susan , and Kimberly found four sibling relationship types . The four different types of sibling relationships are based on the degrees to which they exhibit the combination of hostility and warmth . First , harmonious sibling relationships are characterized by low levels of hostility and high levels of warmth . Second , hostile sibling relationships are characterized by high levels of hostility and low levels of warmth . Third , sibling relationships are characterized by both high levels of hostility and warmth . Lastly , uninvolved sibling relationships are characterized by low levels of both hostility and warmth . Scott Myers and Keith discovered that siblings generally maintain their relationships using several relational maintenance strategies confirmation , humor , social support , family visits , escape , and verbal aggression . Think about your sibling relationships . How would you describe your sibling relationships using the four different types of sibling relationships discussed by Shirley McGuire , Susan , and Kimberly If you don have siblings , think of a famous pair of siblings . Based on you know about their relationship , how would you describe their relationship using the four different types of sibling relationships discussed by Shirley McGuire , Susan , and Kimberly Think about your sibling relationships . relational maintenance strategies discussed by Scott Myers and Keith Weber do you use with your siblings ?

If you don have siblings , think of a famous pair of siblings . Based on what you know about their relationship , what relational maintenance strategies do these famous siblings use ?

390 Marriage Relationships . Describe the marriage relational dimensions discussed by Mary Anne . Explain the three different types of marital relationships described by Mary Anne . ma 32 LU ' Discuss the application of Mary Anne relational dimensions to marriages . Earlier in this text , we discussed dating and romantic relationships . For this chapter , we re going to focus on marriages as a factor of family communication . To help us start our conversation of marriage , lets look at some sage wisdom on the subject Marriage has no guarantees . If that what you re looking for , go live ith a car The trouble with some Women is that they get all excited about nothing and then Cher I love being married . Its so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your Rita By all means , marry . If you get a good ife , you become happy if you get a bad one , you become a Socrates Marriage is an endless sleepover With your favorite Unknown Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the Zig Many ' i , comedians , political figures , motivational speakers , and others have all Written on the subject of marriage . For our purposes , We are going to examine marital types and the research associated with the studies . Marital Types One of the most important names in the area of family communication and marital research , in general , is a scholar named Mary Anne . was one of the first researchers in the field of communication to devote her career to the study of family communication . Most of her earliest research was in the area of marriage . The culmination of her earliest research on the subject was the publication of her important book , Between Husband and Wives Communication in Marriage in 1988 . Although this book is over 30 years old now , the information she found and discussed in this book is still highly relevant to our understanding of marital relationships and marital communication . 391 '

Relational Dimensions One of the earliest projects undertaken Mary Aime was the creation of the Relational Dimensions Instrument . The creation of the measure started as part of her dissertation work in 197 ( and was in a series of ii The consisted of 200 items based on different ideas expressed in the literature about marriage at the time . Through her research , was able to the measure to identify eight dimensions of marriage measured 77 items . These eight dimensions fall into three larger categories conventional versus ideology , and conflict . The can be seen in its entirety in a couple of different Conventional Ideology The first of relational dimensions is what called ideologies . In this category , recognized two different ideologies traditionalism and uncertainty and change . Ideology of Traditionalism The first dimension is referred to as the ideology of traditionalism . Traditionalism is the idea that a couple has a very historically grounded and conservative perspective of marriage . For example , couples who see themselves as more traditional are more likely to believe that a wife should take her husband name when they get married . They are also more likely to think that the family should adhere to specific religious traditions and that children should be taught those traditions when growing up . Generally speaking , people with a traditional ideology are going to believe in a more rigid understanding of both the male and female roles within a marriage . As for specific communication issues associated with this ideology , there is a strong belief that families should look composed and keep their secrets to themselves . In other words , families should strive to keep up appearances and not talk about any of the issues going on the family itself . Ideology of and Change The underlying idea of the ideology of uncertainty and change is basically the notion that people should be open to uncertainty . Indeed , the ideal relationship , from this , is one marked by the novel , the spontaneous , or the humorous . The individuals who score highly on this factor seem open to change . They believe that each should develop their potential , and that relationships should not constrain an individual in any Interdependence The second category of relational dimensions is what called the struggle of interdependence versus autonomy . In every relationship , as people grow closer , there is the intertwining of people lives as they become more interdependent . At the same time , some people prefer a certain amount of individuality and autonomy outside of the relationship itself . To figure out how connected spouses are , one has to look at the amount of sharing and companionship in the marriage as well as at the couple organization of time and space . The more interdependent the couple , the higher the level of companionship , the more time they spend together , and the more they organize their space to promote mat togetherness and interaction . 392

Sharing The third dimension of marriage relationships is sharing . Sharing consists of two basic components . The first component involves discussing the affective or emotional health of each of the partners and the relationship while exhibiting nonverbal affective displays ( touching holding hands in public ) The second component expands across the other dimensions . A high score on this factor would suggest an open sharing of love and caring , and the tendency to communicate a wide range and intensity of feelings . There is a sharing of both task and leisure activities , as well as a considerable degree of mutual . Finally , these relational partners not only visit with friends but also seek new friends and Autonomy is an individual independence in their ( behaviors and thoughts . In a marriage relationship , autonomy can include having a man cave or a home office that is specified as personal space for one of the marriage partners . Some couples will even go on separate vacations from one another . In any relational dialectic , there is always the struggle between connectedness and autonomy . Different couples will place differing degrees of importance on autonomy . Space The fifth dimension of marital relationships is undifferentiated space , or the idea that there are few constraints on physical spaces within the home . This undifferentiated space means that spouses do not see ownership of personal belongings as much as they do ownership as a couple . individuals who score high in undifferentiated space are also more willing to open their homes to family and friends . On the other hand , individuals who have a low undifferentiated space generally see belongings in personal terms . That my That my pen . This is my Etc . These individuals are also more protective of their personal space from outsiders . When they do allow outsiders ( family and friends ) into the house , they want to the outsiders that this will happen and may limit access to parts of the house ( office spaces , workshops , master bedrooms , master bathrooms ) Temporal The next dimension , temporal regularity , examines strict a schedule couples stick to . Do they get up at the same time ?

Do they go to bed at the same time ?

Do they always eat their meals at the same time ?

Some marriages run like a train , while other marriages fluctuate temporally daily . Conflict Engagement Avoidance The final broad category of relational dimensions examines how couples handle conflict . Some couples will actively avoid conflict , while others openly engage in conflict . Avoidance The seventh dimension of marital relationships is conflict avoidance . Couples who engage in conflict avoidance do not openly discuss any conflicts that occur within the marriage . Individuals who avoid conflict will even avoid expressing their true feelings about topics that could cause conflict . If , and when , I

they do get angry , they will hide that emotion from their spouse to avoid the conflict . Assertiveness The relational dimension is assertiveness . When analyzing the items on the Relational Dimensions Instrument , noticed that two different emerged . First , she saw a of the use of persuasion ( get a partner to do things ( watch a show , read a magazine ) At the same time , there is a sense of independence and the desire to stand up for oneself even front of friends . Ultimately , believed that assertiveness was the best term to capture both of these The Relational Definitions After creating the relational dimensions , then further broke this down into a marriage typology that included three marriage types traditional , independents , and Figure Conventional Ideology Unconventional Ideology High High Independents ) Low Separates Figure . Relational illustrates how the three relational were ultimately arrived at . The relational that arrived at Was called . are highly interdependent , have a conventional ideology , and high levels of conflict engagement . First , traditional lives are highly intertwined in both the use of space and time , so they are not likely to feel the need for autonomous space at home or an overabundance of me Instead , these couples like to be with each other and have a high degree of both sharing and companionship . These couples are more likely to have clear routines that they are happy with . These couples are also because they do have a conventional ideology . As such , they believe that a woman should take her husband name , keep family plans when made , children should be brought up knowing their cultural heritage , and is never excusable . Lastly , report openly engaging in conflict , but they do not consider themselves 394

overly assertive in their conflict with each other . Of the three , people in traditional marriages report the greatest levels of satisfaction . Independents The second relational definition that described was called independents . Independents have a high level of interdependence , an unconventional ideology , and high levels of engagement . The real difference is their unconventional values in what a marriage is and how it functions . Independents , like their traditional counterparts , have high levels of interdependency within their marriages , so there is a high degree of both sharing and companionship reported by these individuals . However , independents tend to need more me time and autonomous space . Independents are also less likely to stick with a clear daily schedule . To these individuals , marriage is something that compliments their way of life and not something that constrains it . Lastly , independents are also likely to openly in conflict and report moderate levels of assertiveness and do not avoid conflicts . Separates The final relational definition that described was called separates . Separates have low interdependence , have a conventional ideology , and low levels of conflict engagement . Separates seem to hold two opposing ideological views on relationships at the same time . Although a separate is as conventional in marital and family issues as a traditional , they simultaneously support the of independents and stress individual freedom over relational Ultimately , these couples tend to focus more on maintaining their individual than relational maintenance . Furthermore , these individuals are also likely to report avoiding conflict within the marriage . These individuals generally report the lowest levels of marriage satisfaction of the three . Marriages Up to this point , the of the information discussed in this section has been based on research explicitly conducted looking at heterosexual marriages . In one study , and her colleagues specifically set out to examine the three relational definitions and their among gay and Ultimately , the researchers found that among gay males , there are approximately the same proportion of , yet significantly fewer independents and more separates than in the random , heterosexual sample . For lesbians , there were significantly more , fewer independents , and fewer separates than in the random , heterosexual However , it important to note that this specific study was conducted just over 20 years before marriage became legal in the United States . The reality is that little research exists thus far on marriages . The legalization of marriages in July 2015 started a new period in the examination of relationships for family and family communication scholars As a whole , families , and marriages more specifically , is an topic . In a 2016 analysis of a decade of research on family and marriage in the most on the subject , researchers found that of articles published during that time period directly related to For scholars of interpersonal communication , the lack of literature is also problematic . In an analysis of the journal of Family , of the articles published in that journal since its inception in 2001 , only nine articles have examined issues related to families . This is an area that future scholars , maybe even ' I

you , decide to study . Keg Takeaways Mary Anne started researching marriage relationships in the late . Her research found a number of relational dimensions couples can take ) ideology , and conflict avoidance . Mary Anne described three relational . First , traditional are couples who are highly interdependent , have a conventional ideology , and levels of conflict engagement . Second , independents are couples who have a level of interdependence , an unconventional ideology , and high levels of engagement . Lastly , separates are couples who low interdependence , a conventional ideology , and low levels of conflict engagement . Little research examined how couples interact in marriages . Research has shown that in a decade of studies about family and marriage , articles had to do With families . In the of communication , out of the studies published in the journal of Family , only nine of them involved families . In the one study that examined Mary Anne relational dimensions among couples , the researchers found that gay males had approximately the proportion of , yet fewer independents and more separates than in the random , heterosexual sample . Conversely , among lesbian women there were more , fewer independents , and fewer separates than in the random , heterosexual sample . Think about a marital relationship you know the couple fairly well . Examining the three relational dimensions ( ideology , and ) would you categorize this couple ?

Access a copy of Mary Anne Relational Dimensions Instrument ( publication 2325 ( instrumental and expressive domains of marital communication ) a married couple that you know to complete the instrument separately . How similar were their responses ?

How different were their responses ?

Think about a marital relationship where you know the couple fairly well . Based on what you know about this couple , would you consider them traditional , independents , or separates ?

Please be with your answer to 396 As we discussed at the beginning of this chapter , families are a central part of our lives . Thankfully , several communication scholars have devoted their careers to understanding families . In this chapter , we started by exploring the nature of relationships with a specific focus on family communication patterns and family systems . Next , we explored the family life . We then discussed the nature of sibling relationships . Lastly , we ended the chapter by discussing marriage . End of Chapter Autonomy Sibling hostility I Sibling warmth I Family System Ideology of traditionalism Independents Togetherness Individuality Launching Stage Undifferentiated space Separates REA WORLD CASE STUDY demonstrate your understanding of these three marital types . Nick and Diane were strangers flying on Continental flight 05 from London Airport to Houston , when the terrorist attacks on I struck in the United States . Their plane , along with 38 other jets , was diverted to Gan ( ler International Airport in , Canada . Gander is a city of approximately I ( people . What the town ( in size , the airport ( le up for in capacity . Gander International Airport was at one point one of the busiest airports in the world because it was the refueling stop for all planes flying from the United States to Europe an ( from Europe to the United States . In fact , over the years , Gander played host to Churchill , Frank Sinatra , President Ronald Reagan , Monroe , Elvis , an ( many others who had at the airport . As airlines switched to planes with larger fuel capacities , the need for Gander as the refueling stop faded into a thing of the past . On , 38 planes , along With passengers and crew members , joined the small community . As you can imagine , most cities are not prepared for a population growth of 66 iii a matter of hours . Thankfully , the community members of Gander rallied an ( took care of those passengers and flight crew for four ( lays in what was dubbed Operation Yellow Ribbon . I

On the flight , Diane was in the front of the plane while Nick was at the ) ack of the plane . The two had never or even really lai ( eyes on each other . Both were taken to a place called , about 20 minutes outside of Gander . At the shelter there , the two met in line waiting to get blankets . One of them ( about how the ) smelled , an ( the two just ( talking . Nick , sensing the possibility of a new frien ( ended up bunking next to Diane in the shelter . The two shared stories an ( trail mix . Over the next few days , the two started to fall in love . One night , the two , along with other passengers , went to a local pub where the two became official , by drinking Screech and ki . ing a cod . During the midst of the festivities , a local justice of the peace made the mistake of assuming the two were a couple . hen he found out they weren , the justice said , I can marry the two of To which Diane responded , sure ! Admittedly , it was probably the Screech talking , but in that moment , Diane realized that she really was starting to like Nick and that she could see him romantically . After four , a hurricane was quickly approaching ( so there was a short time period to get the planes off the ground once the airspace was reopened . On the bus heading back to the airport , Diane started to tear up , realizing that this side journey life was ending . Nick leaned in to comfort her and kiss her on the forehead , but Diane took the opportunity to turn it into a more romantic experience . Nick ultimately proposed to Diane over the phone in November , and the two were married on September , 2002 , and they ( in . Nick and Diane are very much real people . You can even follow them on Twitter , Their story is actually one of the main in the awarding winning Broadway musical Come From Away , which explores the generosity of the people of and the ones who come from away . hat do you think it was about thi . situation that drew the couple together ?

How would you describe their relationship using the family life cycle ?

do you think Nick and Diane story has been so captivating to millions of people around the world ?

END OF CHA TER . is characterized by all of the following except . a . Harmony Similarity of Values Relatively little communication ( is characterized by all of the following except . Open communication between parent an ( child Frequent communication between parent an ( child ( Harmony . A is a pictorial representation of a family across generations that can be used to track generations of family interactions , medical issues , psychological issues , relationship patterns , an ( any other variable a researcher or clinician may be interested in studying . a . Family life cycle . Family chart 398

( Genealogy tree . In which stage of David and Laura Family Life Cycle are adolescents launched ?

a . Full nest two ) Full nest three Empty nest one ( Empty nest two . of Mary Anne marital types is marked by being highly interdependent , having conventional ideology , and having high levels of conflict engagement . Independents Separates ( I References Burgess , 1926 ) The family as a unity of interacting personalities . The Family , Burgess , 1963 ) From institution to companionship ( American Book Company . Murdock , 1949 ) Social structure . Macmillan . 141 . 1927 ) Sex and reproduction in savage society . Commentator . Bailey , 1988 ) From to back seat Courtship in America . Hopkins University Press . 1988 ) Domestic revolutions A social history life . Free Press . Otto , 1988 ) America youth A changing . Family Relations , 37 ( 1975 ) Family communication research a critical review , and substantive Paper presentation . Annual Meeting , Speech Communication Association , Chicago , IL , United States . 1988 ) Conceptual frontiers in the study of communication in families An introduction to the literature . Family Relations , 37 , 328 . 10 , Gross , 1982 ) Commuter marriages A review . Marriage Family Review , 81 . 11 Burgess , 1926 ) The family as a unity of interacting personalities . The Family , 12 Burgess , 1926 ) The family as a unity of interacting personalities . The Family , Murdock , 1949 ) Social structure . Macmillan . 141 . Bailey , 1988 ) From the front porch to back seat Courtship in America . Hopkins University Press . 13 , I . 1982 ) Family systems theory Background and implication . of Communication , 32 ( 14 , 1972 ) The construction of social reality . In ) Ed . The social processes ( 15 Ritchie , A . 1990 ) Family communication patterns Measuring perceptions of interpersonal relationships . Communication Research , 17 ( 16 Ritchie , 1991 ) Family communication patterns An epistemic analysis and conceptual reinterpretation . Communication Research , 18 ( 17 , 1972 ) The construction of social reality . In ) Ed . The social processes ( 83 . 18 Ibid . 83 . 19 Ibid . 86 . 20 Ibid . 85 . 21 , A . A . 1980 ) Essays in The general science of organization ( Publications . 22 , von ( 1934 ) Modern theories of development ( Oxford University Press . von ( 1951 ) Problems of general systems theory . Human Biology , 23 , von ( 1955 ) General systems theory . Main Currents in Modern Thought , von ( 1968 ) General systems theory . George . 23 , von ( 1968 ) General systems theory . George . 38 . 24 , 1978 ) Family therapy in . 400

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