Human Behavior and the Social Environment II Part III Chapter 13 Relationships & Well-Being

Chapter 13 Relationships Understand why relationships are key to happiness and health . Define and list different forms of relationships . List different aspects of . Explain how relationships can enhance . Explain how relationships might not enhance being . Introduction The relationships we cultivate in our lives are essential to our , happiness and health . Why is that so ?

We begin to answer this question by exploring the types of , friends , colleagues , and have in our lives and how they are measured . We also explore the different aspects of happiness and health and show how the quantity and quality of relationships can affect our happiness and health . 468 Chapter 13 Relationships

In Daniel classic novel Robinson Crusoe ( 1719 ) the main character is shipwrecked . For years he lives alone , creating a shelter for himself and marking the passage of time on a wooden calendar . It is a lonely existence , and Crusoe describes climbing a hilltop in the hopes of seeing a passing ship and possible rescue . He scans the horizon until , in his own words , he is almost blind . Then , without hope , he sits and weeps . Although it is a work of fiction , Robinson Crusoe contains themes we can all relate to . One of these is the idea of loneliness . Humans are social animals and we prefer living together in groups . We cluster in families , in cities , and in groups of friends . In fact , most people spend relatively few of their waking hours alone . Even report feeling happier when they are with others ! Yes , being surrounded by people and feeling connected to others appears to be a natural impulse . In this module , we will discuss relationships in the context of . We will begin by defining and then presenting research about different types of relationships . We will explore how both the quantity and quality of our relationships affect us , as well as take a look at a few popular conceptions ( or misconceptions ) about relationships and happiness . The Importance of Relationships If you were to reflect on the best moments of your life , chances are they involved other people . We feel good sharing our experiences with others , and our desire for relationships may be connected to a psychological impulse the need to belong ( Leary , 1995 ) Aristotle commented that humans are fundamentally social in nature . Modern society is full of evidence that Aristotle was right . For instance , people often hold strong opinions about single child concerning what are often viewed as problematic only child Chapter 13 Relationships 469

most parents choose to have multiple kids . People join book clubs to make a solitary a social activity . Prisons often punish offenders by putting them in solitary confinement , depriving them of the company of others . Perhaps the most obvious expression of the need to belong in contemporary life is the prevalence of social media . We live in an era when , for the first time in history , people effectively have two overlapping sets of social relationships those in the real world and those in the virtual world . It may seem intuitive that our strong urge to connect with others has to do with the boost we receive to our own from relationships . After all , we derive considerable meaning from our relational seen in the joy a newborn brings to its parents , the happiness of a wedding , and the good feelings of having reliable , supportive friendships . In fact , this intuition is borne out by research suggesting that relationships can be sources of intimacy and closeness ( Reis , Clark Holmes , 2004 ) comfort and relief from stress ( Collins , 2000 ) and of which help toward achieving better health outcomes ( Tay , Tan , 2013 Taylor , 2010 ) Indeed , scholars have long considered social relationships to be fundamental to happiness and ( Argyle , 2001 Myers , 2000 ) If the people in our lives are as important to our happiness as the research suggests , it only makes sense to investigate how relationships affect us . The Question of Measurement Despite the intuitive appeal of the idea that good relationships translate to more happiness , researchers must collect and analyze data to arrive at reliable conclusions . This is particularly difficult with the concepts of relationships and happiness because both can be difficult to define . What counts as a relationship ?

A pet ?

An old friend from childhood you havent seen in ten years ?

Similarly , it is difficult to pinpoint exactly what qualifies as happiness . It is vital to 470 Chapter 13 Relationships define these terms because their definitions serve as the guidelines by which they can be measured , a process called . Scientifically speaking , the two major questions any researcher needs to answer before he or she can begin to understand how relationships and interact are , How do best measure relationships ?

and How do I best measure ?

Scientists are interested in objective measures such as the number of friends a person has and subjective measures such as feelings of social support . Public Domain , Let begin with relationships . There are both objective and subjective ways to measure social relationships . Objective social variables are factors that are based on evidence rather than opinions . They focus on the presence and frequency of different types of relationships , and Chapter 13 Relationships 471

the degree of Contact and the number of shared activities between people . Examples of these measures include participants marital status , their number of friends and work colleagues , and the size of their social networks . Each of these variables is factually based ( you have number of coworkers , Another objective social variable is social integration or ones degree of integration into social networks . This can be measured by looking at the frequency and amount of social activity or contact one has with others ( see , Stock , Witter , 1984 , 2000 ) The strength of objective measures is that they generally have a single correct answer . For example , a person is either married or not there is no . Subjective social variables , as the name suggests , are those that focus on the subjective qualities of social relationships . These are the products of personal opinions and feelings rather than facts . A key subjective variable is social extent to which individuals feel cared for can receive help from others , and are part of a supportive network . Measures of social support ask people to report on their perceived levels of support as well as their satisfaction with the support they receive ( see Cohen , Underwood , 2000 ) Other subjective social variables assess the nature and quality of social relationships is , what types of relationships people have , and whether these social relationships are good or bad . These can include measures that ask about the quality of a marriage ( Dyadic Adjustment Scale , 1976 ) the amount of conflict in a relationship ( Conflict Tactics Scale , 1979 ) or the quality of each relationship in ones social network ( Network of Relationships Inventory ( 1985 ) The strength of subjective measures is that they provide insight into people personal experiences . A married person , for example , might love or hate marriage subjective measures tell us which of these is the case . Objective and subjective measures are often administered in a way that asks individuals to make a global assessment of their relationships ( How much social support do you receive ?

472 Chapter 13 Relationships However , scientists have more recently begun to study social relationships and activity using methods such as daily diary methodology ( Davis , 2003 ) whereby individuals report on their relationships on a regular basis ( three times a day ) This allows researchers to examine instances trends of how social relationships affect happiness and compared to more global measures . Many researchers try to include multiple types of , subjective , and daily overcome the weaknesses associated with anyone measurement technique . Just as researchers must consider how to best measure relationships , they must also face the issue of measuring . is a topic many people have an opinion about . If you and nine other people were to write down your own definitions of happiness , or of , theres a good chance you end up with ten unique answers . Some folks define happiness as a sense of peace , while others think of it as being healthy . Some people equate happiness with a sense of purpose , while others think of it as just another word for joy . Modern researchers have wrestled with this topic for decades . They acknowledge that both psychological and physical approaches are relevant to defining and that many , joy , all important . One prominent psychological dimension of is happiness . In psychology , the scientific term for happiness is subjective , which is defined by three different components high life satisfaction , which refers to positive evaluations of ones life in general ( Overall , I am satisfied with my life ) positive feelings , which refers to the amount of positive emotions one experiences in life ( peace , joy ) and low negative feelings , which refers to the amount of negative emotions one experiences in life ( sadness , anger ) 1984 ) These components are commonly measured using subjective scales . Chapter 13 Relationships 473

The Satisfaction with Life Scale is one of the most widely used measures of in the world . The physical dimension of is best thought of as one health . Health is a broad concept and includes , at least in part , being free of illness or infirmity . There are several aspects of physical health that researchers commonly consider when thinking about and relationships . For example , health can be defined in terms of ( A ) injury , disease , and ( mortality . Health can also include physiological indicators , such as blood pressure or the strength of a person immune system . Finally , there are health behaviors to be considered , such as dietary consumption , exercise , and smoking . Researchers often examine a variety of health variables in order to better understand the possible benefits of good relationships . Presence and Quality of Relationships and If you wanted to investigate the connection between social relationships and , where would you start ?

Would you focus on teenagers ?

Married couples ?

Would you interview religious people who have taken a vow of silence ?

These are the types of considerations researchers face . It is impossible for a single study to look at all types of relationships across all age groups and cultures . Instead , researchers narrow their focus to specific 474 Chapter 13 Relationships variables . They tend to consider two major elements the presence of relationships , and the quality of relationships . Presence of Relationships The first consideration when trying to understand how relationships influence is the presence of relationships . Simply put , researchers need to know whether or not people have relationships . Are they married ?

Do they have many friends ?

Are they a member of a club ?

Finding this out can be accomplished by looking at objective social variables , such as the size of a social network , or the number of friends they have . Researchers have discovered that the more social relationships people have , in general , the more positively their sense of is impacted ( Lucas , 2008 ) In one study of more than 200 undergraduate students , psychologists Ed and Martin ( 2002 ) compared the happiest 10 to the unhappiest 10 . The researchers were curious to see what differentiated these two groups . Was it gender ?

Exercise habits ?

Religion ?

The answer turned out to be relationships ! The happiest students were much more satisfied with their relationships , including close friends , family , and romantic partnerships than the unhappiest . They also spent less time alone . Some people might be inclined to dismiss the research findings above because they focused primarily on college students . However , in a worldwide study of people of all ages from 123 nations , results showed that having even a few social relationships were consistently linked with subjective ( Tay , 2011 ) This is an important finding because it means that a person doesn have to be a social butterfly in order to be happy . doesn depend necessarily on having dozens of friends , but rather on having at least a few close connections . Another way of gaining an understanding of the presence of Chapter 13 Relationships 475

relationships is by looking at the absence of relationships . A lack of social connections can lead to loneliness and depression . People lose when social relationships are in cases of ostracism . In many societies , withholding social relationships is used as a form of punishment . For example , in some Western high schools , people form social groups known as cliques , in which people share interests and a sense of identity . Unlike clubs , cliques do not have explicit rules for membership but tend to form organically , as exclusive group friendships . When one member of a clique conflicts with the others , the offending member may be socially rejected . Ostracism is a form of social rejection and isolation that has a negative impact on . Public Domain , 476 Chapter 13 Relationships

Similarly , some small societies practice shunning , a temporary period during which members withhold emotion , communication , and other forms of social contact as a form of punishment for wrongdoing . The group of traditional Christian communities in North America who reject modern conveniences such as practice shunning ( 1993 ) Members who break important social rules , for example , are made to eat alone rather than with their family . This typically lasts for one to two weeks . Individuals has been shown to dramatically suffer when they are ostracized in such a way ( Williams , 2009 ) Research has even shown that the areas of the brain that process physical pain when we are injured are the same areas that process emotional pain when we are ostracized ( Williams , 2003 ) Quality of Relationships Simply having a relationship is not , in itself , sufficient to produce . Were all familiar with instances of awful relationships Cinderella and her , loveless marriages , friends who have frequent ( giving birth to the word ) In order for a relationship to improve , it has to be a good one . Researchers have found that higher friendship quality is associated with increased happiness ( 2007 ) Friendships are the only relationships that help , though . Researchers have found that relationships between parents and children are associated with increased happiness , both for teenagers ( 1998 ) and adults ( 2006 ) Finally , an argument can be made for looking at relationships effects on each of the distinct components of subjective . and ( 2000 ) investigated a mix of relationships , including family , friends , and romantic partners . They found that Chapter 13 Relationships 477

social support and conflict were associated with all three aspects of subjective ( life satisfaction , positive affect , and negative affect ) Similarly , in a study comparing college students in Iran , Jordan , and the United States , researchers found that social support was linked to higher life satisfaction , higher positive affect , and lower negative affect ( Mohr , Stein , 2012 ) It may seem like common sense that good relationships translate to more happiness . You may be surprised to learn , however , that good relationships also translate to better health . Interestingly , both the quality and quantity of social relationships can affect a health ( Cohen 1988 House , Landis , 1988 ) Research has shown that having a larger social network and relationships can be beneficial for health , whereas having a small social network and poor quality relationships can actually be detrimental to health ( 2006 ) Why might it be the case those good relationships are linked to health ?

One reason is that friends and romantic partners might share health behaviors , such as wearing seat belts , exercising , or abstaining from heavy alcohol consumption . Another reason is that people who experience social support might feel less stress . Stress , it turns out , is associated with a variety of health problems . Other discussions on social relationships and health can also be found in ( 478 Chapter 13 Relationships

Types of Relationships Intimate relationships it . Intimate Relationships have been shown to have a strong positive impact on individuals . Public Domain , It makes sense to consider the various types of relationships in our lives when trying to determine just how relationships impact our . For example , would you expect a person to derive the exact same happiness from an as from a child or Chapter 13 Relationships 479

coworker ?

Among the most important relationships for most people is their romantic partner . Most researchers begin their investigation of this topic by focusing on intimate relationships because they are the closest form of the social bond . Intimacy is more than just physical in nature it also entails psychological closeness . Research findings suggest that having a single person with whom you can be authentic and trust not to exploit your secrets and more important to happiness than having a large social network ( see Taylor , 2010 for a review ) Another important aspect of relationships is the distinction between formal and informal . Formal relationships are those that are bound by the rules of politeness . In most cultures , for instance , young people treat older people with formal respect , avoiding profanity and slang when interacting with them . Similarly , workplace relationships tend to be more formal , as do relationships with new acquaintances . Formal connections are generally less relaxed because they require a bit more work , demanding that we exert more . Contrast these connections with informal , lovers , siblings , or others with whom you can relax . We can express our true feelings and opinions in these informal relationships , using the language that comes most naturally to us , and generally being more authentic . Because of this , it makes sense that more intimate that are more comfortable and in which you can be more be the most likely to translate to happiness . The most common way researchers investigate intimacy is by examining marital status . Although marriage is just one type of intimate relationship , it is by far the most common type . In some research , the of married people is compared to that of people who are single or have never been married , and in other research , married people are compared to people who are divorced or widowed ( Lucas , 2005 ) Researchers have found that the transition from singlehood to marriage brings about an increase in subjective ( Stock , 480 Chapter 13 Relationships

Witter , 1985 Lucas , 2005 Williams , 2003 ) Research has also shown that progress through the stages of relationship commitment ( from singlehood to dating to marriage ) is also associated with an increase in happiness ( Dush , 2005 ) On the other hand , experiencing divorce , or the death of a spouse , leads to adverse effects on subjective and happiness , and these effects are stronger than the positive effects of being married ( Lucas , 2005 ) Although research frequently points to marriage is associated with higher rates of happiness , this does not guarantee that getting married will make you happy ! The quality of ones marriage matters greatly . When a person remains in a problematic marriage , it takes an emotional toll . Indeed , a large body of research shows that people overall life satisfaction is affected by their satisfaction with their marriage ( Carr , Freedman , Schwarz , 2014 Dush , Taylor , 2008 , 2001 , Eid , Lucas , 2012 , Helms , 2007 ) The lower a level of marital quality , the more likely he or she is to report depression ( 2012 ) In fact , longitudinal that follow the same people over a period of that as marital quality declines , depressive symptoms increase ( Beach , Harold , Osborne , 1997 , 2001 ) and colleagues ( 2007 ) arrived at this same conclusion after a systematic review of 66 and 27 longitudinal studies . What is it about bad marriages or bad relationships in general , that takes such a toll on ?

Research has pointed to the conflict between partners as a major factor leading to lower subjective ( Gere , 2011 ) This makes sense . Negative relationships are linked to ineffective social support ( Smith , 2010 ) and are a source of stress ( Smith , Hicks , 2007 ) In more extreme cases , physical and psychological abuse can be detrimental to ( Rutledge , Berg , Hause , 1990 ) Victims of abuse sometimes feel shame , lose their sense of self , and become less happy and prone to depression and anxiety ( Arias Pape , 1999 ) However , the unhappiness and dissatisfaction that occur in abusive Chapter 13 Relationships ) 481

relationships tend to dissipate once the relationships end . 81 Sands , 2013 ) Work Relationships and Since we spend so much of our time at work its essential to our that we get along with our coworkers ! Editor , BY 20 , Working adults spend a large part of their waking hours in relationships with coworkers and supervisors . Because these relationships are forced upon us by work , researchers focus less 482 Chapter 13 Relationships

on their presence or absence and instead focus on their quality . High quality work relationships can make jobs enjoyable and less stressful . This is because workers experience mutual trust and support in the workplace to overcome work challenges . Liking the people we work with can also translate to more humor and fun on the job . Research has shown that supervisors who are more supportive have employees who are more likely to thrive at work ( 2014 , 2014 , Busch , 2015 ) On the other hand , poor quality work relationships can make a job feel like drudgery . Everyone knows that a horrible boss can make the workday unpleasant . Supervisors that are sources of stress have a negative impact on the subjective of their employees ( 2014 ) Specifically , research has shown that employees who rate their supervisors high on the dark triad , narcissism , and greater psychological distress at work , as well as less job satisfaction ( Mathieu , 2014 ) In addition to the direct benefits or costs of work relationships on our , we should also consider how these relationships can impact our job performance . Research has shown that feeling engaged in our work and having a high job performance predicts better health and greater life satisfaction ( 2015 ) Given that so many of our waking hours are spent on the ninety thousand hours across a makes sense that we should seek out and invest in positive relationships at work . Fact or Myth Are Social Relationships the Secret to Happiness ?

If you read pop culture magazines or blogs , you likely come Chapter 13 Relationships 483 across many supposed secrets to happiness . Some articles point to exercise as a sure route to happiness , while others point to gratitude as a crucial piece of the puzzle . Perhaps the most written about secret to happiness is having social relationships . Some researchers argue that social relationships are central to subjective ( Argyle , 2001 ) but others contend that social relationships effects on happiness have been exaggerated . This is because , when looking at the size of the social relationships and being , they are typically small ( Lucas , 2006 Lucas et , 2008 ) Does this mean that social relationships are not actually important for ?

It would be premature to draw such conclusions because even though the effects are small , they are robust and reliable across different studies , as well as other domains of . There may be no single secret to happiness but there may be a recipe , and , if so , good social relationships would be one ingredient . 484 Chapter 13 Relationships

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A contemporary examination of gender , marriage , and psychological being . Journal of Health and Social Behavior , 44 , Williams , 2009 ) Ostracism A temporal model . In ( Ed . in Experimental Psychology , 41 , NY Academic Press . Busch , 2015 ) Changes in leadership behaviors predict changes in job satisfaction and being in workers . A longitudinal investigation . Journal of Leadership and Organizational Studies , 22 , Attribution Adapted from Relationships and by Kenneth Tan and Louis Tay is licensed under Commons 40 International License . 490 Chapter 13 Relationships 81